So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
