I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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