I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize