The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
