I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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