Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize