Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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