As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
