Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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