If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
