You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
COCAINE IS GR8
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
