smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
