I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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