thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
