yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
