May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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