this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
