She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Please don't give away my fajitas
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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