Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
