How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
