WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
