Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
