I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
