when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize