It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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