Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The beer is more important than you right now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
