youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
