i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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