I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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