my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
