oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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