Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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