oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
