They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
