Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

toast her oven

(1-248): View more from Michigan

toast her strudel

(248): View more from Michigan

inspect her gadget

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I thought she had blonde hair

(302): View more from Delaware

No, Gonorrhea actually

Fav 6 955 2005
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(847): View more from Illinois

as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window

Fav 17 764 2679
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(712): View more from Iowa

the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout

Fav 14 5258 1021
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(402): View more from Nebraska

my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.

Fav 12 5007 1191
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(631): View more from New York

I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

Fav 12 1984 3786
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(212): View more from New York

My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.

Fav 3 3107 1190
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(330): View more from Ohio

just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.

Fav 4 888 812
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(418): View more from Quebec

I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?

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