I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize