its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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