Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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