I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
