your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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