My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
