When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
