For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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