soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
