well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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