Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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