You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
