i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
