normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
