Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
