I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
