I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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