Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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