Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
