Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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