Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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