yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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