New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
