Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
